Here and There

late afternoon, friday style

2008-05-23T17:18:00.000-07:00

beautiful women everywhere. me in a cafe buzzed on a third of my pint and waxing poetic.

a good moment, this.

so much!

2008-04-03T11:37:00.000-07:00

feeling the love today...and the magic of spring things blooming. wisteria and jasmine take over the air in these parts and soften the days. it's a fantastic truth about living in this bay area where there are in fact seasons, just subtle seasons.

having a moment of appreciation for the people in my life. so, people, if you're reading this, you are appreciated!!

in other news, after a long and torturous few months of not knowing whether or not my school is closing, dying, imploding...the answer is yes, all of the above. AND i'll be able to finish my degree. (thank you to all of the gods i can think of.) i have two months to fit in a semester and thesis, so here i go. squeeking this master's degree through...barely.

time to go outside.

weekend bliss

2007-11-29T19:24:00.000-08:00

A grey fall morning beckoned me outside and I came grudgingly. To coffee, a pumpkin muffin, and finally, not yet ready to call it coffee-shop quits, a mug of peppermint tea. Because once I made it outside, through the laborious process of choosing the pants and shirt and socks and then making them fit over my body, once I put the helmet on my head and pedaled up the hill streets to this place, I discovered I quite like this grey fall morning. And I thank it for beckoning so strongly.

Fanfuckingtastic

2007-11-28T14:20:00.000-08:00

I had a fabulous summer. Just looked over the pictures on this here blog and remembered...wow. Italy, Switzerland, Prague, Napa, Humboldt camping, home.

Lucky, lucky girl I am!

Neglect!

2007-11-28T14:01:00.000-08:00

Poor, sad little blog. And now the three people who checked in occasionally have probably moved on...poor little blog.

So! Life moves on...things get crazy and busy...I (apparently) find renewed faith in capitalizing letters at the beginning of sentences. Stranger things have happened.

Here's the run down of all that's going on:

1. I'm nearing the end of my semester of insanity, which means the insanity is on hyperdrive. I have more pages of theoretical analysis to write in the next three weeks than I can fathom. And then there's that little video project...and that other paper. Oy.

2. And then there's that little internship. Good times getting practice doing "real" writing...meaning, published. But I get stressed out about that whole "what if I really suck at this...what if I've chosen a bad path" conversation. Then I go get another cup of coffee...or download another episode of Weeds ;-)

3. Working still doing officey stuff. Learning little, but know what I'm doing and the parameters of what's expected which is absolutely relieving. Plus, nice to get a little paycheck every few weeks.

4. Relationship is good, little downs, little ups, overall direction of goodness. Home is happy, even if my piles of paper are overtaking every surface in that one room. Cat is a pain in the arse...keeps getting his ass kicked (in fights he instigates). Not the smartest pussy on the block. And vet bills are not so very cheap, FYI.

5. I keep thinking...when stuck in traffic, when riding BART, when stuck in some more traffic...about singing and how much I used to dream of being in a band and writing songs with other people and rocking out. And now I don't spend any time making that happen and that's so so sad. I don't even sing in the shower very often. And that's the saddest thing of all...except my neighbors probably don't think so. C'est la vie.

Back to work I go.

“bottle up and explode, over and over…”

2007-10-26T14:18:00.000-07:00

those are the first words to the song in my ears. i'm heading for an explosion myself...big messy, goopy, blubbering exploding over.

it's safest to stand back.

8:23pm

2007-09-16T20:23:00.000-07:00

apparently, lists are all the rage these days. so, superlist of this exact moment, right here and now:

1. i LOVE my fancy headphones - they transform listening to music from something my ears to to something my whole body experiences. and they make me remember how much i love music. and the breadth of emotion it conjures. fanfuckingtastic.

2. the book "elements of journalism" is winking at me, taunting me to read it. but that would be too easy. and then i'd be prepared for class on wednesday...and really, what fun is that? instead i'm blogging and drinking, ahem, cognac.

3. a dear friend of r is in the midst of heartbreak, life upheaval, very very very sad. she's in our living room right now, where r is trying to comfort her...but really, there is nothing to do in the middle of a breakup but to be sad and heartbroken. which is absolutely no fun at all. negative fun. i wish there was a magic pill to take, to jump right on over all that feeling horrible crap. i would take it from time to time myself. but there isn't. so, in the mean time, we have yummy dinner, a spare bed, and compassionate ears to offer.

4. we (me and r) are approaching our 5th anniversary. it blows my mind.

the end.

superlist #1 superb bay area moments

2007-09-07T20:11:00.000-07:00

1. I appreciate any workplace that drills book bins into the bathroom stall walls because, hey, everybody poops. And while you’re staying put for a while, why not read The Philosophy of Metallica in the mean time. Or the autobiography by Tori Spelling’s psychic. Not a minute to waste is what I say. (Full disclosure: I haven’t ever opened one of these books, just marveled at their existence.)

2. One of the candidates for SF mayor is named Chicken. 'Nuff said.

3. Tonight is Wood’s final performance. Not sure if that means they’re all stopping, or if one or two band members are on to the next thing. Even if I haven’t made it to any of their shows (which is really sad, since a friend is one a member of the band), I really love knowing there’s a 70’s drag king band rocking out in the wee hours every so often. www.woodkings.com

4. Burning Man shmurningman. It’s over. Let’s talk about something else for a few months.

and then there's the colosseum

2007-08-01T16:52:00.000-07:00

a natural tour

2007-08-01T16:17:00.000-07:00

in between touring roman ruins and prague castles, we stopped to reset ourselves in some lovely, quiet, country places. so, in chronilogical order, these places helped keep us sane:

hiking outside lausanne, suisse

and the savage beast roaming the land (apparently cheese tastes better when it's made from cows who live at high altitudes)

and, of course, hiking in cinque terre...one day along the coastline and one day up and over the hill

i verified...and reverified...that wine does in fact help heal blisters

bicycle tour outside florence (note to self: tiramisu before biking up hill in the heat is not wise)

we were the only people in italy wearing helmets

stressa, on the edge of lake maggiore - hiking, swimming, eating, drinking...and looking at the view from our room

and then, to end our tour of european nature, we found this lake on the outskirts of prague...with a waterslide!!
(confession: i didn't actually go down the waterslide because i was too far gone in a fog of harry potter addiction.)

beauty, beauty everywhere

2007-08-01T15:58:00.000-07:00

spending a month in europe is, among other things, confirmation that there are so many amazingly gorgeous places in the world. and i've only seen about 0.1% of them.

this is the one i'm appreciating the most today, as i'm downloading the 482 pictures we took:

cinque terre ("five earths") - five little villages along the north western coast of italy. we arrived by train in the second most southerly town, manarola, and proceeded to walk up hill for an hour to volastra, where our little b&b awaited us...with this terrace view:

after an 8 hour train ride from geneva, we stood standing with our packs on at the base of the hill, sweating wildly in the mediterranean sun. a local man walked by wearing only red swimming trunks and flip flops. between his non-english and our non-italian, we established that yes, our town (volastra) was up the hill and he would show us the way...through terraced vineyards, along crumbling rock walls, up, up, up. we walked for an hour up that hill. i cursed in every language i could muster...under my breath, of course, and tried to remain cheerful by practicing my three italian conversational phrases...which was more confusing for our friend than when i spoke in english. so we made it to the top, after being passed by the free shuttle going up and back (ahem). and my dear lovely r, well, she looked at my red face, sweat molding my t-shirt to every curve of my torso, and she said with a smile, "isn't this fun?!"

i almost decked her, but in the end, it was fun. or at least made for a memorable experience and a little more strength in my desk-job depleted leg muscles.

that was our first day in italy.

europa, europa

2007-06-26T09:13:00.000-07:00

i'm off like a prom dress, heading out tomorrow in the wee hours of the morning to the place where people drive these cars:

and they drive 'em along places like this:

i will come home with stories, pictures, and as much chocolate as i can stuff in all my pockets and bags.

new music!

2007-06-05T12:41:00.001-07:00

i'm in desperate need of new music. what new music are you excited about?

no complaints - a montage

2007-06-05T11:58:00.001-07:00

so far this summer (as in the past few weeks), this is what I've been up to:

road trip to the southwest
family time
ocean, mountains, ocean
wino biking in napa

it's a good beginning!!

it boggles the mind

2007-05-24T11:38:00.000-07:00

so mary cheney has given birth. congrats. how is it that her father is one of the lead men, if not THE lead man, of an administration that promotes such a hateful, discriminatory agenda against queer folk...the bush/cheney regime is very clear about its stand on gay marriage, gay rights, etc. no marriage, no rights. why is everyone letting cheney get away with the "how dare you ask about my personal life" schtick when his public stance is so clearly homophobic? and how can mary cheney support her father's administration? self hatred? ick.

on another related note,what must it feel like to be mary cheney's partner? every public statement about their life together is about mary, that mary will be a "loving soul" for her child...that the rest is "personal". how must it feel to be publicly invalidated on such a regular basis?

inch by inch

2007-05-02T12:27:00.000-07:00

read the article from katha pollitt below. i really appreciate her pissed off tone. not enough people are angry about the latest supreme court decision to disallow "late-term abortion." and all to help women avoid "regret".

oh, and let's not forget the vast hypocrisy of valuing "human life" in utero, but once a child is born, there is no great concern with caring for her...feeding, housing, educating her loses importance in the face of anti-choice propaganda.

i can't match katha's articulate indignation, so read on...

subject to debate by Katha Pollitt

Regrets Only
[from the May 14, 2007 issue]

So now you know. It really does matter who's President and which party controls Congress. A Democratic-controlled Congress would never have passed the Partial-Birth Abortion Act, which banned intact dilation and extraction abortions and, in flagrant violation of Roe v. Wade, lacked an exception to preserve the health of the woman. A Democratic President would never have signed such a bill. Nor would he have nominated the extremely conservative antichoicers John Roberts and Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court, which on April 18 upheld, in Gonzales v. Carhart by a 5-to-4 vote (Roberts, Alito, Kennedy, Scalia, Thomas--all GOP nominees), a ban essentially identical to one rejected 5 to 4 in Stenberg v. Carhart seven years ago, when Sandra Day O'Connor was on the bench.

So, NARAL Pro-Choice America--or whatever your latest bland, pandering brand name is--maybe, much too late, you'll rethink your policy of supporting prochoice Republicans, who made the majorities that set the agenda that led us to this very bad place. And maybe, Tom Frank and assorted liberal know-it-alls of the op-ed page and blogosphere who've been telling us to calm down because Republicans are all bark and no bite on abortion, you'll take a look at the real world. Sometimes politicians deliver on their promises. As for all you prochoicers with qualms out there--who think abortion is icky and "late term" abortion especially so, although you couldn't say exactly when that even is, and who wonder why women are so careless and shouldn't emergency contraception have taken care of this already?--maybe it's time to start defending the right you say you believe in, instead of cutting the ground out from under it.

Sorry. I'm upset. For the first time, the Supreme Court has ruled that the health of an actually existing human woman doesn't matter, never mind Roe. Nor does a doctor's judgment. What counts, according to Justice Kennedy's majority decision, is that this particular method of abortion "devalues human life." Besides, the woman, confused little flower nodding her head in the breeze, needs to be protected from regret, the "grief more anguished and sorrow more profound" that might come when she realizes the exact nature of the procedure. Regret! If that's a criterion, no one could ever decide about anything. Maybe we women should call up Justice Kennedy whenever we have a big decision to make. "Um, excuse me, Justice Kennedy, Bob just proposed, but what if he's not The One? And while I have you on the phone, the job in California sounds so great, but what if I never finish my novel? And what if I vote Republican because I'm scared of Osama, but then Congress tries to make me have a baby?" Numerous commentators have downplayed the significance of Gonzales v. Carhart--you can still get an abortion, just not with this method, which was only used in about 2,000 cases a year anyway. But that ho-hum approach overlooks what is new here and where it's going. I've mentioned the paternalism and the Roe-disregarding lack of a health exception. But let's not forget the sheer useless moral posturing: A woman can wind up injured, and her fetus will be aborted anyway, but the tender sensibilities of Kennedy and his four brethren will be protected! What other procedures will they find "shocking" down the line? It's not as if the alternatives--dismembering the fetus in the womb and extracting it piece by piece; poisoning it and delivering it dead--are delightful to contemplate. Why shouldn't they find more and more abortions unacceptable--maybe even all of them?

Perhaps they will. Because another thing this decision demonstrates is how deeply antichoice disinformation has penetrated the worlds of power and influence. Kennedy's regretful woman comes straight from the antichoice playbook, in which women who choose abortion are invariably bewildered, heedless, misled, manipulated and in need of guidance from wiser heads. When Kennedy refers to the gynecologists and obstetricians who perform abortions as "abortion doctors," he's repeating antichoice language intended to impugn the professionalism of these physicians and make it easier to disregard their judgment about how best to care for their patients. Abortion doctors! What do they know? The ban itself--calling the procedure "partial birth abortion," as if the fetus were days from being born (it's actually performed in the second trimester); singling out a method and using the emotions it arouses to violate the trimester distinctions of Roe and the pre-viability and post-viability distinction of Casey is part of the antichoice strategy to shut down legal abortion one restriction, one legal precedent at a time. And what about prochoicers' weak responses? NARAL caved in on the ridiculous Unborn Child Pain Awareness Act. South Dakota's Healthy Families confined its opposition to the lack of rape, incest and health exceptions in the state's abortion ban, thus setting the stage for acceptance of future bans that added those provisos.

Beyond all this, it's flatly outrageous that five men--five devout Catholic men, 56 percent of the court--can impose their will on women's bodies, talking about "anatomical landmarks" as if a woman's reproductive system were some kind of national park. None of them will ever be pregnant or want or need an abortion. That should have made them humble. I wonder if anyone reading this will live to see a Supreme Court in which a five-woman majority rules on an issue in which the reproductive lives of men, and only men, are at stake. Right now, Ruth Bader Ginsburg is all alone up there, watching her legacy go up in smoke.

* * *

With the ban in effect, the small number of physicians who perform second-trimester abortions will be under tremendous pressure to restrict or abandon abortion care. That means more women may be coming to New York City for abortions. You can support safe abortions for low-income women, and shake your fist at the Vatican Five, by making a donation in honor of Justice Ginsburg to the New York Abortion Access Fund, which helps women from all over pay for their terminations. Even a small donation can make a huge difference (NYAAF: FDR Station, Box 7569, New York, NY 10150).

today in the news...

2007-04-18T09:54:00.000-07:00

why are we compelled to categorize tragedy in this country as "the worst...", "the biggest...", "the bloodiest..." the media coverage of the shootings at virginia tech includes these phrases, as if this tragedy is above and beyond the threshold of acceptable tragedy. none of it is acceptable, none of it is justifiable, none of it should be happening.

it is absolutely unacceptable that a 32 people were shot and killed two days ago by a very troubled student. it is absolutely unacceptable that planes were hijacked and flown into the world trade towers, killing so many and wounding even more. it is absolutely unacceptable that iraqi civilians are killed every day as they attempt to go about their daily life. it is absolutely unacceptable that people are being slaughtered in darfur. this list could go on and on and on, listing ongoing and horrifying violence...it could go on and on and on listing past horrors. none of this is okay, none of it is justifiable. let's stop quantifying the degree of human violence, killing, suffering. let's stop trying to hold the moral high ground that violence against us, on our soil, is less acceptable than violence anywhere else. absolutely none of it is acceptable.

2007-04-03T11:06:00.000-07:00

arrival

2007-03-27T17:38:00.000-07:00

this morning i got to witness a baby being born. amazing. beyond description. and it has taken most of the day for me to move into emotional wow about it. when the call came at 2:30 this morning, the focus was on what needed to get done...supporting the mama, assisting the midwife when possible, making sure logistics were all set. but now, well, now i am completely bowled over by the triumph and miracle. baby lila is here now, all 8 lbs 14 ozs of her. yesterday at this time, her mama couldn't see her own toes for her gigantic belly. today we have lila. AMAZING! i'm very honored to have been present at her birth, to get to see her entrance into this gorgeous, messy world. i get to say i've known her all of her life without fudging it even a second. and her big sister was there, her mama, papa, and grandma were there. we all got to welcome her and adore her from the instant she arrived. everyone should be so loved.

four years too long

2007-03-19T13:05:00.000-07:00

today is the fourth anniversary of our invasion of iraq. i was out at a peaceful protest, holding a sign and trying to engage people as they drove by or attempted to go to work at the Chevron headquarters in san ramon, ca. it was a smaller than hoped action, but a good one.

here is a copy of an article published by one of my professors - it was also distributed at the protest today.

as publishd in the new york times, March 13, 2007:

Whose Oil Is It, Anyway?

By ANTONIA JUHASZ
San Francisco

TODAY more than three-quarters of the world’s oil is owned and controlled by governments. It wasn’t always this way.

Until about 35 years ago, the world’s oil was largely in the hands of seven corporations based in the United States and Europe. Those seven have since merged into four: ExxonMobil, Chevron, Shell and BP. They are among the world’s largest and most powerful financial empires. But ever since they lost their exclusive control of the oil to the governments, the companies have been trying to get it back.

Iraq’s oil reserves — thought to be the second largest in the world — have always been high on the corporate wish list. In 1998, Kenneth Derr, then chief executive of Chevron, told a San Francisco audience, “Iraq possesses huge reserves of oil and gas — reserves I’d love Chevron to have access to.”

A new oil law set to go before the Iraqi Parliament this month would, if passed, go a long way toward helping the oil companies achieve their goal. The Iraq hydrocarbon law would take the majority of Iraq’s oil out of the exclusive hands of the Iraqi government and open it to international oil companies for a generation or more.

In March 2001, the National Energy Policy Development Group (better known as Vice President Dick Cheney’s energy task force), which included executives of America’s largest energy companies, recommended that the United States government support initiatives by Middle Eastern countries “to open up areas of their energy sectors to foreign investment.” One invasion and a great deal of political engineering by the Bush administration later, this is exactly what the proposed Iraq oil law would achieve. It does so to the benefit of the companies, but to the great detriment of Iraq’s economy, democracy and sovereignty.

Since the invasion of Iraq, the Bush administration has been aggressive in shepherding the oil law toward passage. It is one of the president’s benchmarks for the government of Prime Minister Nuri Kamal al-Maliki, a fact that Mr. Bush, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, Gen. William Casey, Ambassador Zalmay Khalilzad and other administration officials are publicly emphasizing with increasing urgency.

The administration has highlighted the law’s revenue sharing plan, under which the central government would distribute oil revenues throughout the nation on a per capita basis. But the benefits of this excellent proposal are radically undercut by the law’s many other provisions — these allow much (if not most) of Iraq’s oil revenues to flow out of the country and into the pockets of international oil companies.

The law would transform Iraq’s oil industry from a nationalized model closed to American oil companies except for limited (although highly lucrative) marketing contracts, into a commercial industry, all-but-privatized, that is fully open to all international oil companies.

The Iraq National Oil Company would have exclusive control of just 17 of Iraq’s 80 known oil fields, leaving two-thirds of known — and all of its as yet undiscovered — fields open to foreign control.

The foreign companies would not have to invest their earnings in the Iraqi economy, partner with Iraqi companies, hire Iraqi workers or share new technologies. They could even ride out Iraq’s current “instability” by signing contracts now, while the Iraqi government is at its weakest, and then wait at least two years before even setting foot in the country. The vast majority of Iraq’s oil would then be left underground for at least two years rather than being used for the country’s economic development.

The international oil companies could also be offered some of the most corporate-friendly contracts in the world, including what are called production sharing agreements. These agreements are the oil industry’s preferred model, but are roundly rejected by all the top oil producing countries in the Middle East because they grant long-term contracts (20 to 35 years in the case of Iraq’s draft law) and greater control, ownership and profits to the companies than other models. In fact, they are used for only approximately 12 percent of the world’s oil.

Iraq’s neighbors Iran, Kuwait and Saudi Arabia maintain nationalized oil systems and have outlawed foreign control over oil development. They all hire international oil companies as contractors to provide specific services as needed, for a limited duration, and without giving the foreign company any direct interest in the oil produced.

Iraqis may very well choose to use the expertise and experience of international oil companies. They are most likely to do so in a manner that best serves their own needs if they are freed from the tremendous external pressure being exercised by the Bush administration, the oil corporations — and the presence of 140,000 members of the American military.

Iraq’s five trade union federations, representing hundreds of thousands of workers, released a statement opposing the law and rejecting “the handing of control over oil to foreign companies, which would undermine the sovereignty of the state and the dignity of the Iraqi people.” They ask for more time, less pressure and a chance at the democracy they have been promised.

Antonia Juhasz, an analyst with Oil Change International, a watchdog group, is the author of “The Bush Agenda: Invading the World, One Economy at a Time.”

i realize

2007-03-03T21:28:00.000-08:00

the baby pictures have taken over. it's just my hormones taking control.

but don't worry. there is no sperm to be had in this household. it's hard to have a happy accident with (as my brother likes to say) a good friend and a turkey baster.

grad school makes me feel like...

2007-03-03T21:27:00.000-08:00

don't be sad!

2007-03-01T10:56:00.000-08:00

top ten reasons

2007-02-24T18:32:00.000-08:00

the bay area is absolutely rockin' (in no particular order...and subject to change at any moment)

1. hilarious community dance performances - les infants du parody (www.counterpulse.org/calendar.shtml)
2. mills women...everywhere...everywhere. i love us
3. barbara lee speaks for me!!
4. arizmendi/cheeseboard pizza
5. burritos, burritos, burritos and guacamole!!
6. hills, ocean, sky, clouds, jasmine in bloom
7. free-wheelin', unyielding political discussions
8. farmers markets
9. the parkway theater
10. people and their freakin' liberal politics. i love 'em!

that's my story for the day.

trauma for the gato

2007-02-16T18:12:00.000-08:00

the day started with an abscess, um, exploding...to the vet and beyond.

now we're home and he's still stoned from the anesthesia. the poor cat keeps walking around (with half his back shaved and a rubber tube sewn into his skin) with this thing around his neck. he runs into doors and walls and keeps trying to out-maneuver the plastic collar.

sad little dude.

whoa

2007-02-13T10:38:00.000-08:00

i feel like this all the time, don't you?

new discovery

2007-02-10T01:40:00.000-08:00

while sipping expensive tequila, i just discovered that one of my girlfriend's closest friends knows my mother...and grandmother...from 17 years ago...and in fact, has a very special place in her heart for both of them.

i (obviously) have a special place in my heart for both of them too...i think they're two of the most amazing women i've ever me. and this woman who is in my life through my partner, she thinks they're amazing and special too...and has been significantly influenced by them in her life. wow.

that's all i can say. wow. and yes. it's wonderful to have their wonderfulness validated.

what a night.

family

2007-02-07T21:50:00.000-08:00

am having mad appreciation for my family, for the elders and brand new members and everyone in between.

this little nephew guy is nine weeks old. he's amazing. his mama (also pictured) thinks so too.

if i was organized enough to have pictures of 'em all on this computer, they'd all be here. the grannies, the parents, niece, eldest nephew, siblings, in-laws, cousins, their kids, aunts, uncles, and everyone else.

i'm having a "feeling the love" moment.

as it turns out,

2007-02-02T12:27:00.000-08:00

i'm a total sucker.

went to the optometrist. discovered i need glasses for everything but "latin dancing." did i strike the good doctor as a latin dancer? don't know. anyway, i'm sight deficient in my left eye...not horribly, but enough.

so i found myself in the brand new situation of needing to pick out glasses frames. in ten minutes. with the sole guidance of the harried woman behind the counter. in a small, boutique-y place in san francisco...

let's just say that i spent WAY more money than was necessary. or advisable. or reasonable. or justifiable.

turns out i'm just vain enough to be easily "up sold."

turns out i'm pretty pissed at myself.

turns out you can get frames at costco for $50.

molly ivins

2007-02-01T09:29:00.000-08:00

molly ivins died yesterday from breast cancer. she had apparently been fighting it for a very long time.

her death was, is, a shock to me. i found out at a dar williams concert last night when dar dedicated a song to mollie. and then i had to work very hard not to cry in public.

i didn't know mollie ivins, never met her, but i'll miss her. she was a fierce, funny, unabashedly intelligent woman who wrote words i was always better for reading. she ingeniously fused humor with hard facts and left her reader (me) refreshed, hopeful, and much more informed.

when i saw her speak at a celebration of the free speech movement at UC berkeley. she reminded us that in order to keep doing the work that needs to be done, we have to maintain our senses of humor. she asked us, as the next generation of rabblerousers, to step up and get to work...but remember to laugh along the way.

for more information, go to www.texasobserver.org.

oh, school

2007-01-31T11:42:00.000-08:00

i continue to be impressed by one of my professors, antonia juhasz.. i just watched the "Iraq War Authors' Panel" (which antonia participated in as the author of The Bush Agenda - Invading the World One Economy at a Time) hosted by Congresswomen Maxine Waters and Lynn Woolsey, House Ways and Means Committee (January 29, 2007) on the cspan website.

very exciting to hear Congresswoman Waters close the 2 hour 45 minute session with the call and response - "this is what democracy looks like." very exciting to witness a congressional platform being provided for opposition to the war. very excited to see strong, political women leading the way.

a few new things

2007-01-26T09:23:00.000-08:00

1. going back to school - and so i did it, took the federal loan plunge and find myself only knee deep in reading so far. neck deep is on it's way, i have no doubt. i am reminded of what i love and, well, really dislike about being in school. reading, ideas, change, intellectual stimulation - those are all hell yes. domineering classmates who think everything they say is a little gem of academic genius, well, that i haven't missed in the four years i've been out of school. i get really irritated when one person responds to everything the professor says directly, as if they're in the midst of a private tutoring session and the whole class is intended for them alone. i haven't yet found a diplomatic way to say "shut the fuck up" but i'm still working on it.

2. bought a new lappy. she's beautiful and new and, well, i'm still figuring out what all the buttons do.

3. not new at all, but just want to mention that i have a fabulous woman.

hmmm

2007-01-16T13:25:00.000-08:00

Your Birthdate: October 20

You are a virtual roller coaster of emotions, and most people enjoy the ride.Your mood tends to set the tone of the room, and when you're happy, this is a good thing.When you get in a dark mood, watch out - it's very hard to get you out of it.It's sometimes hard for you to cheer up, and your gloom can be contagious.
Your strength: Your warm heart
Your weakness: Trouble controlling your emotions
Your power color: Black
Your power symbol: Musical note
Your power month: February

stalling

2007-01-12T14:06:00.000-08:00

today's agenda: WRITE

I am a very talented procrastinator.

how is it that i'm pursuing a career based on writing, am in a writing group, have my BA in (yup, you guessed it) WRITING and i can't make myself sit still to just do it. i think about writing about as much as i think about sex...almost. i think of phrasing and story ideas while riding BART to and from work. i wake up in the middle of the night with brilliant inspirations. and when i've actually made the time and space in my life to sit still, think, and type my stories into being, all i want to do is clean the bathroom. or cut the grass. or call every person i've been meaning to get back in touch with for the past six months. cut toenails, make coffee, practice the guitar, paint the living room. or BLOG. anything but what i've set out to do. and then later, when the deadline is upon me, i'm really upset that i didn't put more time and effort into my piece.

it's a lot of work being self-defeatist.

a little sauce

2007-01-05T22:26:00.000-08:00

spent the evening with friends who i haven't seen for a while and a few drinks.. loved it (bad music included). home now with tortilla chips and cable television. it's as wild as i get these days.

rejuvination

2006-12-28T13:43:00.000-08:00

am spending a few days between holidays on the maine coast. beautiful, cold, and very relaxed. most of the shops and restaurants in this little town are closed for the season, but there are still lobster rolls and bottles of wine to be had.

happiness.

filled

2006-12-26T16:33:00.000-08:00

i am filled with thoughts of this past year...easy times mixed with challenging, growth-inducing time, feeling the miles between myself and family. am having renewed appreciation for the festival of light and dark at mills in the chapel...celebrating the whole, instead of just the happy times.

solstice came and went and i am very excited for the days to grow longer, the light to expand. i have high hopes for this next year, and some fear of what change and challenges will arrive, announced or unannounced, they'll arrive and demand courage.

now, off for the day-after-Christmas feast of leftovers.

2006-12-18T11:11:00.000-08:00

i eat a lot of tofu

2006-12-13T09:31:00.000-08:00

which, according to conservative nutball, i mean, writer Jim Rutz, explains so many things. here's an excerpt from his article published today on world net daily entitled The Big Picture - Soy is Making Kids 'Gay':

"Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That's why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today's rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products."

this makes me angry in so many different directions i can hardly write a complete sentence...or a complete sentence with out capitalized profanity in the direction of this FUCKER.

i read the article in the first place because i thought it was preposterous and way off base, but also funny that anyone could actually write this, publish it, and take themselves seriously. i mean, tofu? the cause of all right wing bigots' worst nightmares? first it bites into US beef industry profit, and now it's creating homos? i honestly don't know how someone could righteously believe this and still be a rational human. oh, wait, rational...right. not so much.

but the premise isn't funny. (nor is it logical or scientifically backed up.) and the man wrote a serious article expounding the dangers of soy on otherwise "normal" americans. and he warns mothers and fathers to avoid soy-based baby formula 'cause it might make their sons gay. and he's serious. and he's assuming his audience is looking for a root cause, something to blame the existence of gayness on. and they are.

"blame for today's rise in homosexuality must fall"
"blame must fall"
"blame"

it's not in the water, not in the tofu, it's not contagious, it's not a disease or a phsychological disorder. it just is. i just am. deal with it.

compassion reminder

2006-12-07T09:55:00.000-08:00

"It is lack of love for ourselves that inhibits our compassion toward others. If we makes friend with ourselves, then there is no obstacle to opening our hearts and minds to others."
(source unknown)

he's so little!

2006-11-28T12:14:00.000-08:00

just saw pictures of my newborn nephew...red and wrinkly like any of us would be if we were in a 98.6 hot tub for nine months. beautiful, too, with a mass of dark hair. he arrived two weeks earlier than expected, which prompted his parents (who are never early) to question whether or not he's really their son. arriving early is his first act of rebellion.

i am lucky to be an auntie to three...a niece who wonders why about everything, a nephew who just informed me that the song actually goes "Q R X Y and Z", and a newborn who I'll get to kiss this weekend. this auntie thing rocks!

(picture provided by proud parents)

i have a new nephew!

2006-11-27T13:45:00.000-08:00

he was born yesterday and i can't wait to meet him.

rainy day

2006-11-13T16:18:00.000-08:00

it's amazing how much smaller the world feels when the fog descends in san francisco. i can't see the tops of the buildings out my ten story window anymore. definitely time to go home and make soup. or bread pudding. something hearty and warm and smelling of everything comforting.

walked by starbucks and saw they're already pimping santa. it is WAY too early for that...gingerbread lattes and snowman cookies, let alone the jingle bell bop floating from their speakers. season pushers, that's what they are. it's not even thanksturkey day yet and they're already boasting green and red everything. is there really someone getting paid way too much money to seduce us into spending more money 'cause we feel pressured into holiday spirit? (yes...that there is.)

a freakin' disgrace is what it is. holiday pushers make me angry.

rainy days, on the other hand, complete with their coziness and homemade chai, well...they make me very happy. home soon.

the day after

2006-11-08T10:57:00.000-08:00

speaker pelosi is fun to say! i just said it out loud for the first time, and well, you should try it. ( i can even forgive her for not smiling at me when i walked past her first class seat on a flight last month.) i find myself hopeful that some positive change is on its way...not immediate, but coming. hopeful is a good feeling.

and RUMSFELD IS RESIGNING. about fucking time.

my fingers are crossed for the VA senate outcome...hopefully recounts will go for the dem. actually, my fingers are crossed for all the "too close to call" races.

lamont lost, which is terribly sad but not surprising given how the general race was going.

prop. 87 died in CA. crap. all the money the oil industry pumped into the state for the No campaign paid off, apparently.

happily, prop. 85 (abortion notification) also died!

the news is good overall. lest i get too far down the "what we didn't get" road, it's good to remember that momentum is going in the direction of reinstating integrity into how our country is run. it's my bold wish.

daily trivia

2006-11-07T11:35:00.000-08:00

there are currently three states in this USofA where Bush's favorability ratings are higher than his unfavorability ratings:

1. Idaho
2. Utah
3. Wyoming

pretty country, scary politics.

election fright - scary headlines of the morning

2006-11-07T11:12:00.000-08:00

Republicans Deny Subterfuge as Phone Barrages Anger Voters

Sen. Allen's Campaign Connected To Phone Call Threatening People With Arrest If They Show Up To Vote...

Election Fraud Suspected In Utah...More Than County's Recorded Population Registered To Vote...

Missouri Elections Chief: My Voting Experience Was “Troubling”...

GOP Congressman Chabot Turned Away At The Polls

KY Poll Worker Charged For Allegedly “Choking” Voter

VOTE!

2006-11-02T10:34:00.000-08:00

'tis the long-awaited season of voting. i'm very anxious to see what happens on Nov. 7...which slimy GOP tricks will transpire, which version of courage Dems will call upon (if any), which campaigns i've been following will be victorious and which will crash and burn.

in the realm of slimy, whether intentional or not, the alameda county absentee ballots are misleading. the envelope says "put one stamp here" and the fine print in the voting instructions says if you don't apply two stamps to the envelope, your ballot will be returned to you by the postal service. what absolute CRAP! nearby san francisco absentee ballots don't require stamps at all...and are instead processes through to their destinations free of charge. makes sense to me - don't charge the electorate to vote, no postage, no hassle, no ballots lost in the mail.

wherever you are, get your ass to the voting booth. or make sure you put enough stamps on your absentee ballot.

'nuff said.

nothing better

2006-10-23T11:32:00.000-07:00

'tis the season of my birthday and i am loving it. mostly i find myself feeling overwhelmingly blessed by my people. friends and family really make up the quality of this life. they teach me what they know, show me which wok to buy, how to make a hot-cheese sandwich, when to plant bulbs. they remind me to lighten up and laugh, encourage music, play scrabble, read my scary first drafts, drink wine with me, AND laugh at my jokes (mostly).

my life is very rich thanks to those who love me.

the treadmill takes flight

2006-10-04T12:20:00.000-07:00

traveling for work is a tease.

here i am, in this beautiful east coast state, with no opportunity to visit the green trees, the ocean, or the people i love who live here. i know it's all out there but i can't touch! (yes, that's a complaint.)

i'm about to eat a tuna sub (a 'hoagie' in east-coaster) as my first meal of the day. i'm very excited. no one should ever be so excited about mayo, but i am! cheap soft roll, watery lettuce, and chicken o' the sea. mmm.

more later...after my sub is over.

only in seattle

2006-09-21T21:00:00.000-07:00

i fell in love with seattle...boats, wine, people, steamed kale, and clear skies. it was a weekend of brilliance all around.

where else would this troll live under the freeway? (note the vw bug it's crushing.)

sensitive is an understatement

2006-09-18T18:05:00.000-07:00

am having the weirdest day...my brain's not in gear, i keep almost crying, and i've experienced three full-body blushes this afternoon.

i can't explain it away (it's not hormone season) so just have to deal. but i don't like it.

today my boss looked at me and said, "what are you doing?!" i explained but got cut off with, "you need to turn you're brain on!"

that was blush numero uno...followed quickly by wanting to cry numbero dos...followed by a walk outside to eat my sandwich . but damn if i haven't been able to think clearly or maintain emotional clarity all day.

not fun.

today's quote

2006-09-14T10:37:00.000-07:00

"The task of genius, and humanity is nothing if not genius, is to keep the miracle alive, to live always in the miracle, to make the miracle more and more miraculous, to swear allegiance to nothing, but live only miraculously, think only miraculously, die miraculously." —Henry Miller

bigger than ever

2006-08-16T16:32:00.000-07:00

why is everyone always trying to get me to enlarge my penis?

jeesh, it's enough to give a girl a complex!

be happy or be normal

2006-08-15T13:04:00.000-07:00

i know horoscopes are intended to be general on purpose, intended to leave an opportunity for people in all sorts of life situations to relate. this one works for me:

from www.freewillastrology.com:

Novelist Jeanette Winterson told a TV interviewer about her mother's strongest belief: "You can be happy, or else you can be like normal people." This idea applies to you right now, Libra--maybe more than you realize. From what I can tell, you're at a crossroads in your relationship with happiness. You could go either way, and it's mostly up to you: Will you tame your urges for wild joy, repress your instincts to follow your lyrically crazy heart, and surrender to the dull insanity of the maddening crowd? Or would you prefer the scarier, more eccentric and action-packed route that will constantly push you to enlarge your capacity to feel good?

i've been thinking quite a bit lately about this whole "happiness" thing. it seems i'm becoming increasingly negative, increasingly one of "those" harried, under-slept, over-caffeinated people zombied out on the morning commuter train. the trend doesn't please me. and it's even scarier to realize that i actually DO get enough sleep, it just never feels like it.

i've been spending a ridiculous amount of time feeling tired lately; it's my default. well, that and anxiety. it feels like a surrending to the "dull insanity of the maddening crowd." what i fear is that this surrender is not in fact a phase, not a result of recent life transition, but is now my de facto mode of operation.

i don't want to be a bitter, too tired, too busy person without spark or daring. it's quite a luxury to have the choice.

a cake made entirely of MEAT

2006-08-14T13:41:00.000-07:00

this culinary strangeness found by my brother, who is himself a culinary magician:

meat cake (the thing on the top is supposed to be a t-bone, but, um....)

meatloaf "cake"
ketchup filling and decorative frosting
mashed potato frosting

(http://www.blackwidowbakery.com/demo/meatcake/)

sweetness

2006-08-09T09:28:00.000-07:00

i love it when there's a pay off at work. i've been coming in to the office at 7am for a while, working hard on one project in particular. i'm really low on the scale of who's important to the success of this project, but it is wonderful to find out today that my efforts (in whatever tiny part) have paid off and the whole thing is working out beautifully. it's a damn nice feeling.

the end.

laughing in a room by myself

2006-08-03T14:28:00.000-07:00

today from www.overheardinnewyork.com:

3-year-old girl: Daddy, does this helmet make me look crazy?
--13th & University

Little boy: Simon says reach into everybody's pants!
--Waiting room, Mt. Sinai Hospital

i love food

2006-07-27T13:04:00.000-07:00

and i mean it.

went to greens last night with r's family. they couldn't really get over the price of vegetarian food, but aren't most restaurants overpriced. okay, moving on...to my mushroom raviolis. fanfuckingtastic. succulent, rich, and sassed up with a sharp cheese i'm forgetting the name up grated on top. chanterelles and portobellos inside and on top of the ravioli. fresh spinach tossed into the sauce for some green, texture balance. very, very tasty.

r's papa got pizza provencal...didn't taste, but smelled good. i assume everything there tastes good...even the patty pan squash, which i generally stay away from (childhood trauma).

r got veg and tofu brochettes over couscous w/ pistachios and dried cherries...yummy curry sauce on the veg. skewers. loved it except for the tofu - i don't like the texture of wildwood tofu and while i wouldn't bet any limbs or future children on it, i'm pretty sure it was wildwood tofu...which, again, can be directly linked to my childhood trauma.

sister and mama split an order of mushroom raviolis (smart women) and had the grilled peaches appetizer with watercress and marscapone (can't spell it, but i like it). made me want to unearth my webber grill from under its rust and throw some stone fruit over the coals.

so brother, does that answer any of your questions?

everybody's doing it

2006-07-22T21:28:00.000-07:00

i had planned on being drunk right now, or at least flirting with drunkenness (while enjoying the company of good friends), but instead i'm sitting in my boxers watching the west wing's second season. i'm not complaining, mind you, but it's a strange shift in plans.

the party i was going to, well, it turns out i'm a) not really invited and b) it's a surpass wedding for someone i've never met so "party" is a little misleading. i actually found out b) first and then a)...and i was fine with not going when i heard it was a wedding (nope, not wanting to be an intruder there) and less fine about being email-uninvited. (my psychological pitfalls are strong and set in their ways. i expect they'll be with me through thick and thin, 'til death do us part.)

it seems i'm surrounded by weddings this summer. more power to whoever wants to give it a go. but watching some of my dearest friends go through the process of getting married has me thinking hard about what the whole deal means to me.

i've not come to any wow conclusions, but i'm very impressed with everyone who can stand up in front of their three hundred closest friends and declare their unyielding love for the person in front of them. it's such a private sentiment in such a public sphere...which is, i guess, the whole point. public declaration. having a community of people who love you support and celebrate your choice of life partner. hell yeah! but the idea of doing that for myself scares me...and i'll probably get over that fear at some point. just not yet.

committed, monogomous relationship? i'm in. i just have a hard time picturing myself in a veil.

call me reverend

2006-07-11T13:55:00.000-07:00

watch out world, 'cause i've been ordained! no matter that it took four clicks of the mouse to get my new title, i now have a piece of paper that reads "reverend sara...."

my friend has asked me to officiate her wedding and i am wholly honored. and wholly frightened...but the honored feeling is winning. this is going to be fun...and yes, i'm going to cry during the ceremony. for sappy, sensitive me it's really unavoidable.

ooh, and i get to be a sexy reverend with a sexy dress. (this is definitely my kind of wedding.)

plus, now (for only $22.00 + shipping) I get to have a placard in my car saying, "ministerial work in progress." rockin!

now, to just figure out what i'm going to say....

zoomin'

2006-07-05T13:16:00.000-07:00

love the view from my office...tall, tall buildings, sun, sky. and i love that out my window, random people sing bad opera, or sing opera badly, or blast queen at top volume from their motorcycle stereo (who thought of that?), or play la cucaracha on spoons. love this diverse, wacky, heartful bay area.

been going too fast to appreciate it, though, which is really a silly way to live. so much wonder gets passed by each day and instead i choose to be frustrated by the man taking five minutes to specify the texture of his latte foam. well, he is legitimately frustrating. but the point at hand is really about priorities. do i a) spend my time feeling pissed off, anxious, and frustrated about things beyond my control. or do i b) do what i can do, do it well, and keep spreadin' the love. my answer is really a no-brainer, but i get so busy i forget.

this is my daily reminder.

the stars know everything

2006-06-12T13:54:00.000-07:00

LIBRA (from www.freewillastrology.com)

Thinking outside of the box to find creative solutions to obstinate problems sometimes leads to brilliant breakthroughs. Other times it results in laughable breakdowns. And in some cases, it generates changes that are a blend of brilliant breakthrough and laughable breakdown. You're now flirting with this third variety. So is there anything you can do to nudge your innovations more in the direction of breakthrough and away from breakdown? Yes. First, make sure your experimental urges are driven by expansiveness and generosity, not revenge, envy, or fear. Second, trust the feelings in your body to give you important clues. Third, get your ego out of the way as much as is humanly possible.

Dear Stars,

I'm doing my best.

Love,
S.

housemate hunting

2006-06-03T11:44:00.000-07:00

today is moving day. and dmv day. and get angry at a college friend i haven't spoken to in five years 'cause she dissed my friendster's testimonial day. what's that about? (i'll never really be cool enough...sigh. it's weird how those same people illicit the same reactions, no matter how much time has passed...or how trivial the situation...i.e. friendsters.)

but the sun is shining and the birds are doing that chirpy, fluttery, hooray it's spring thing and life is pretty damn good. plus, i started early this morning with an au lait from cafe fanny. mmmm. bowl of coffee good.

today i'm moving into a two bedroom house in emeryville, ca and am looking for a housemate for the next two months (until Renee moves back). anyone know anyone who's looking for a temporary home? rent is $500/month. and i promise to be easy to live with. oh, and i have a cat (who's arriving via airplane today from philadelphia, poor guy). and i like throwing dinner parties. let me know if you have questions or know someone.

gracias.

the pacific vs. altantic dilemma

2006-05-26T03:10:00.000-07:00

it's 6am in on this east coast, which means 3am on the west coast where i came from yesterday. the cat meowed and i just didn't have it in me to go back to sleep.

i'm here, in our townhouse with cheap carpetting and sparsley decorated white walls, to help pack up our lives and take 'em back west. i'm already there. already in a life, feeling independent and mostly content. loving the air and the trees and the height of the hills. and the people, too. they're really the whole point.

but it's hard for me to remember the whole point when i'm back here. i'm feeling nostalgic for this place i spent a year wanting to flee.

yesterday i packed the first round of boxes, started the process of brutal decision making...because let's be honest, most decisions feel brutal to me...so yes, bring the blender, the pillows, the filing cabinet...unpack the blender again because pina coladas seem like just the thing...and leave behind the couch we bought for ten dollars at a garage sale last summer. and leave behind the fireflies and the quaint town and the french bakery and the delaware river and the abundance of happy hours and the regulars at karaoke night (full disclosure: i only went once). i won't miss the weekend yuppies, though, or the hot and humid summer or the lack of diversity. (there are, in fact, gay people here. it's the area's claim to fame...but they're mostly wealthy and white and wearing designer clothing i can't even pronounce, let alone afford.)

i know the line: "change is hard." and yup, it is. but mostly because it's emotional. and as my dad reminded me yesterday, no life decision is ever 100% clear...which was a good reminder to have. so it might take me forty-five minutes to pack a box while i contemplate the emotional significance of every metal mixing bowl and mug, but the box is getting packed. my decision is made and i don't think it's a bad one.

that is, until nee says, i'm really sad i won't be working with these guys anymore. or more directly, i worried about moving back to california. then my doubts come tumbling out and i stare into space with a coffee cup clutched tightly between my palms.

i don't have any stash of comfort for her...or for myself, really. i decided to move back west because that's where i want to be; i moved here, to new hope, to try it out because the east coast is where she wants to be. so we're a wee bit stuck on the bi-coastal decision. i want her to be in CA, with me, expanding our life together that is half-way through its fourth year. she wants me here. we both want each other to be happy and really WANT to be wherever we are. and we both want to be together, which is important. so here we are.

and i'm awake way too early. maybe i'll repack the blender.

genetic defect

2006-05-23T10:07:00.000-07:00

i dressed like a girl today. well, i dress like a girl everyday, given that i am one...blah, blah, blah. but today i might be mistaken for feminine in a skirt and soft shirt. even so, even when i think i have successfully costumed myself in the generic attire of my gender, i give myself away as an imposter.

i wore leopard spot underwear under a see-through-ish skirt and never even thought about the possible consequences. ick. i pick my underwear for comfort. hell, i pick everything for comfort. and the only thought about this morning's choice of undergarments was whether or not i would have a wedgie all day. good forethought, as far as i was concerned at 7:30 this morning.

it's not horrible, the underwear under the skirt. there's a pattern on the skirt that almost covers the gray spots underneath. and if i can't let it go by lunch i'm just gonna buy another damn pair of underwear at the evil box store across the street and change. but it's typical of me, this oops of mine. i can never quite make all of the feminine pieces go, even when i try.

twitterpated

2006-05-21T22:49:00.000-07:00

i just fell in love with natasha richardson.

i watched the movie, sitting in a room surrounded by trees with rain pattering outside, i watched the movie the white countess. and natasha richardson blew me away. beautiful, yes. torturously dramatic, yes. great movie. and now i'm all a-flutter.

i had no idea.

democracy in action

2006-05-18T14:12:00.000-07:00

From huffpo (borrowed from Reuters):

Senior Bush ‘04 Campaign Official Sent To Jail For Scheme To Keep Dems Away From Polls...
Reuters Jason Szep May 18, 2006 at 10:03 AM

A senior official in U.S. President George W. Bush's re-election campaign was sentenced to 10 months in prison on Wednesday for his role in suppressing votes in a key U.S. Senate race, a scandal that Democrats charge may involve the White House.

James Tobin, 45, one of three Republican campaign operatives convicted in a phone-jamming scheme designed to keep New Hampshire Democrats from voting in a 2002 election, was convicted in December of two telephone harassment charges.

if i grow up...

2006-05-17T22:50:00.000-07:00

things that i've longed "to be" so far in this life (in mostly chronological order):

a twin
a singer (like Tiffany)
a marine biologist (they all swim with dolphins, right?)
the first female professional baseball player
a race-car driver (who never crashes)
a poet
a singer (like Sarah McLachlan)
a lawyer (get the Man at his own game)
a singer (who gets paid)
a writer (who gets published...things started getting more serious)
a journalist (more Nation than People)

and tonight i'd like to be rich...and happy...and have enough sleep and eat lots of mangoes...and be rich.

molly knows best

2006-05-17T15:04:00.000-07:00

Molly Ivins has decided there's no other explanation for Dubya's behavior: he's simply insane. (Read here.) I don't think he should get off on a plea of insanity, but she might be onto something.

I love what this white haired lady from Texas has to say. She's bold, sarcastic, and speaks Texan fluently. Plus, she gives me hope that there are decent, progressive things happening in that expansive state. Yup, love her.

leavin' on a jet plane

2006-05-08T07:44:00.000-07:00

i took renee to the airport this morning. very sad.

now i'm at work way too early, listening to kfog and drinking froofy coffee.

i wanted her to stay.

oops

2006-05-05T12:14:00.000-07:00

the truth of it is that i'm a bad blogger. a beginner, yes, but when i have five minutes to spare i don't immediately think "yes, time to update my blog!"

no, instead i think, "mmm, mango and sticky rice."

and to my family, who reads what I post from time to time, leave a comment or six! if i'm a better blogger, will ya'll be better commenters?

heathens!

2006-05-04T22:00:00.000-07:00

i went to see robert reich speak last sunday...wonderful event, a story for another time. i went with my grandmother who has, in line with her life-long practice of being political and uppity, joined a group of political activists called the main street moms. they're awesome in their enthusiasm and drive to make positive change...and they're doing it, which is even more awesome.

we went together, with husband henry (hers, not mine), to this fundraiser for main street moms. it was groovy and happenin' in the way west marin county is groovy and happenin'...sea air, grills fired up, potato salad that almost rivalled my mothers, and a string band. very festive community event.

so, we sat inside the school gym and man sat down next to me in a vacant seat. he introduced himself immediately and interupted my conversation to tell me he owned two houses and what did i do for a living. he took up a lot of space, laughed loudly at strange places in the speech (always saying, that's a good one!), and kept asking me about myself...questions i had absolutely no interest in answering. i didn't want to be friends.

at one point, he asked me what religion i was. i said i'm not religious. he said, oh you're christian. i, plainly wishing to have no further conversation, drew a breath just as my dear granny leaned over and said, "we're heathens, aren't we? yes, i think we're heathens."

i love her.

pet as in "petty"

2006-05-04T21:42:00.000-07:00

peeves of the day:

1. toilet paper roll holders that don't roll, so you have to finesse the paper from its perch. they're usually coupled with...

2.one-ply toilet paper. ick. not much of a step above a dry oak leaf, if you ask me. and yes, i'm talking from personal experience.

3.people who stand behind you in the express line and audibly count the items in your basket. yup, nope, don't like that.

4.drunken men (and women, for that matter) at bars with too much pomade who scare little dogs. it's the hair goop that throws the whole picture out of whack...greasy AND drunk is never a happy combo.

5.hippie men with stringy pony tails in white VW vans who cut me off and then drive really, really slowly. just because they have pc bumper stickers doesn't mean they're allowed to drive like, um, @#$#%$^&.

livin' la vida loca, i tell you.

the shizzle

2006-04-24T21:20:00.000-07:00

it's coming home to a well cooked hamburger after a crap day. and eating in the company of people who speak your language, appreciate the salad dressing you made (as strange as it is), and let you hold the squirming, satisfying weight of a gorgeous baby. an unexpectedly sweet end to a long, drawn day. there's nothing left to do but crawl into bed well before 10pm. i've always been a party animal.

oh, what a day

2006-04-12T19:55:00.000-07:00

yesterday was my "first day on the job." very surreal, after flying from the east coast and dragging all my important belongings with me. but also very educational...and very long. i left the house at quarter to eight in the AM and returned home to fall comatose asleep at one in the AM...too long. but very educational, did i mention that? here's what I learned:

1. gender stereotypes exists because they are, in part, based on reality. it's the ol' hunter vs. gatherer thing...men don't generally do so well with multitasking or focusing on more than one thing at a time. and no, i'm not pulling a millsbian sexist maneuver; i really learned this last night. i mean, some of my best friends are men. (and focus groups are amazing and very strange.)

2. people really are as strange as I've always thought they (we) were (are). sitting behind a one-way mirror, watching people discuss their feelings and reactions, well, i have one word that sums up the entire experience: WOW.

3. if I'm ever on the mirrored side of a one-way mirror, and I'm aware of it, I won't (WON'T) look at my reflection repeated times to see how I look. if my hair's jacked, well, that's just the way it is.

4. even though it's raining in California and may never stop, i still love it here.

5. it's really lovely to crawl into bed, jet lagged and over done at 1am, with a warm woman you love. unfortunately, my warm woman isn't here right now...but when she gets here, i'm going to appreciate her.

6. wine makes me think i'm smarter than i am.

the end. (e.e. cummings was really on to something with his whole refusing to capitalize letters thing. it's very liberating.)

really the end.

Tom's of Maine goes corporate

2006-04-02T10:42:00.000-07:00

The big bad guys are buying up the little good guys...the products will be accessible to a much broader customer base, and the company promises it will continue "maintaining the same standards for natural and sustainable products," but EEK!

More people will have access to good products, but will acquisitions like this continue to undermine the standards of natural, organic, and sustainable products? And for people like me who don't want to support monstrous businesses like Colgate Palmolive, how do I continue to put my money where my mouth is? I'm not sure what to make of it all...but I'm nervous.

Listen to this NPR story about eco-groovy biz making it to the corporate big time and let me know your thoughts.

here I go

2006-04-02T10:20:00.000-07:00

My life has been moving at an extraordinary pace lately. That's not to say I've been busy; busy is beside the point. But change is here, and is she in a hurry.

Last Saturday I decided to move across the country...in one week. It's welcome change, but not at a preferred pace. And so, here I go. I will take what I can carry on the plane and trust to figure the rest out when I get there.

I'm leaving my lady, though, and that doesn't feel right. Not leaving as in "Dear John..." but leaving as in see you soon (hopefully) in California where we will (hopefully) both be happy living...where there are many, many people who love us and shriek into the phone when they here the news. (The shriek is quickly followed by a more toned down, well, um, is everything okay? And yes, it is. And here I come...here we come...hip hip holy-shit hooray.)

It took leaving a place, the Bay Area, to realize it was where I wanted to be. So I kindly thank the east coast for being so hospitable, for taking care of me and generously introducing me to many of its wonders. I don't belong here, but I can't wait to come back and visit.

mary poppins he is not

2006-03-10T11:09:00.000-08:00

culinary weekend

2006-03-04T06:59:00.000-08:00

Last night I made a thing called trid. No, it's not squid and tripe...it's a sweet and savory phillo dough pie thingy w/ onions and chicken and cinnamon (among other spices). It's very tasty, and a little overwhelming. I have a lot of leftovers.

Today is the day for making pizza dough and homemade cheese. If living in NJ/PA has done anything for me, it's gotten me in touch with my pizza addiction. So this weekend I'm very excited to be hosting an all-around pizza extravaganza: freshly made dough, homemade fresh mozzerella and toppings galore.

Mmmm. I am a happy, happy woman...or at least I will be if everything tastes as good as it sounds.

A letter from Ray McGovern

2006-03-03T09:49:00.002-08:00

Ray McGovern doesn't want to be associated with torture...and neither do I, or any other blatent disregard for human dignity and life.

I just paid my taxes. The current administration has made a virtual art out of demolishing life (not just human) and my #$%^&* taxes get spent however the Bushies decree, supporting torture and murder and other atrocities I can't even imagine.

I'm tempted, from time to time (and this is one of them) to expatriate and take my taxes with me...to move to Canada and marry my Canadian-citizen girlfriend and write off any association with this government. But I don't want to give in to the unconcionable bastards who have hijacked this country; I don't want to give up this land and it's inhabitants to the diabolical forces currently in power. (Plus, nobody would even miss my paltry taxes.)

So I'm staying. Now it's time to start acting as much as I talk.

(Thanks for sharing the McGovern letter with me, Susie. You often open my eyes to things happening in the world.)

2006-03-03T09:45:00.000-08:00

My friend Susie is a smart cookie.

But don't take my word for it. See what she has to say for youself.

SNOW!

2006-02-11T10:54:00.000-08:00

I love it! A flurry just started outside and I can't help but smile.

I hope it dumps today, leaving us no choice but to sled and drink spiked hot chocolate all weekend.

Um, WTF!!

2006-02-11T10:45:00.000-08:00

Let me get a hand count on this one: who else is inspired to spontaneously moon all cars with W'04 stickers on the bumper?

I work hard on not judging people for being stupid enough to vote for that guy in the first place. I don't actually think he won by people voting for him, so the blame really isn't on the voters. But to still STILL STILL have his freakin' bumper sticker, in all of it's patriotic hypocrisy, proudly adorning your bumper is, well...now I'm judging.

There's no way you can love this world, and the people in it, and still believe W should be president.
I try to control my impassioned urges when I see the bumper sticker in question, but my middle finger has been known to fly.

My cat is really, really smart.

2006-02-09T18:59:00.000-08:00

Fine Cuisine

2006-02-09T18:45:00.000-08:00

A fine evening for fine cuisine.

I dined at home tonight. No words can aptly describe cold, leftover meatloaf...and a quesadilla for dessert.

Justice for playing hermit, I guess.

Someday...

2006-02-09T18:41:00.000-08:00

It's been a theme of mine, this transition, this continually arriving or striving for a new and better place. I dream big and follow through little.

Someday...